


Love Yourself

by bidness



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Birthday Surprise, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood's Birthday, Bathtubs, Explicit Sexual Content, Lightwood Family Feels, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Malec Discord Server, Masturbation, Self-Appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:49:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bidness/pseuds/bidness
Summary: A bath is next on his list, and as the water fills the tub, he takes the moment to check his messages. There are the expected ones from his parents and siblings that say happy birthday, and each and every one of them receives a thank you’d response before he reaches for the new bottle on the countertop with a bright blue bow on it and an inscription that reads “Love yourself!” in Magnus’ scrawl.Alec Lightwood-Bane appreciateshimselfon his birthday.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 32
Kudos: 191
Collections: Read





	Love Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I intended to write a sappy bday fic for our lovely archer, but uh... He wasn't having it. So here's a whole damn fic of Alec appreciating himself enough for everyone!
> 
> Also, because I wrote this in a few hours, we're just going to ignore the whole living in Alicante business and just go with them still living in NY! LOL

Alec’s birthday has never meant much to him. 

It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the time spent with his family, or the amazing food Magnus procures for him, it’s just that… he isn’t interested in gifts, or celebrations. Being in the spotlight for so long is, frankly, a little embarrassing. He much prefers the attention to be quick and done with, than dragged on and stilted as it always ends up.

That’s not to say there aren’t things about his birthday he does like.

Because at midnight, on the dot, Magnus always makes it a point of showing him exactly how grateful he is that Alec was born. Adamant is he to always be the first to wish Alec a happy birthday, and graciously the last in the evening.

Not that Alec’s complaining. He’ll gladly spend the whole day hidden away in the confines of their room, being brought to the edge and back as a reward that he’s done absolutely nothing to deserve but exist. But to Magnus, that’s enough, and he’ll blissfully reap all the benefits that his husband is willing to shower him with.

So it’s with this expectation that he wakes up in the morning, a little sore but heavily satisfied from the night before. He pushes down the weight of obligation to reply to all the birthday wishes that are likely spamming his phone, because in only a few moments Magnus will realize he’s awake and bring him fully alert. 

Only the seconds tick by, and nothing ever comes, because the bed is empty when he swipes his arm across it. Well, almost empty, save for the piece of paper the bends against the motion of his arm, a paper that he plucks from the sheets with his fingers.

_Happy birthday, my love!_

_Breakfast is in the kitchen whenever you’re hungry._

_I’ve left your gift in the bathroom,_

_enjoy some rest & relaxation. _

_MB_

Rest and relaxation?

Quickly, he fumbles with his phone, sitting up and snagging it from it’s spot on the nightstand before he shoots a text to Magnus. **Where are you?**

The reply is almost immediate, as if Magnus was waiting for his message. 

_I’m gathering some ingredients in Morocco. Don’t worry, you have the whole day to yourself, I made sure to let everyone know not to bother you today. You can do whatever you like without pesky missions or siblings forcing you to celebrate your birthday at Pandemonium._

There’s an exciting twist in his stomach at Magnus’ words, before suspicion and doubt starts to creep in. A whole day just to himself? He hasn’t had one of those in years, and any opportunity for one nowadays usually involves Magnus as well, not that he’s ever minded.

But this… being alone, not having to worry about forcing a smile for all the birthday wishes from Shadowhunters at The Institute that are barely acquaintances to him, or the uncomfortable feeling of a cold sweat on his forehead that comes from the belief that he’s completely undeserving of all of his family’s gifts and ecstatic smiles. It’s relieving. He loves his family, as chaotic and stressful as they can be, he loves the thought they put into picking something out just for him, and most of the time the practical gifts they hand over to him are perfect. But even after all these years, he still doesn’t feel like he deserves any of it, like there are more important things for them to spend their resources on. 

This doesn’t feel like that. This feels… freeing. 

It’s with a slight pep in his step that he slips on a pair of boxer briefs and a shirt and heads to the kitchen, stomach already rumbling with the possibilities of what Magnus could have surprised him with today.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


A bath is next on his list, and as the water fills the tub, he takes the moment to check his messages. There are the expected ones from his parents and siblings that say happy birthday, and each and every one of them receives a thank you’d response before he reaches for the new bottle on the countertop with a bright blue bow on it and an inscription that reads “ _Love yourself!”_ in Magnus’ scrawl. The cap twists easily against his strength, and a quick sniff rushes a soothing wave over him. Clearly magicked.

As the bath continues to rise, he turns the bottle sideways and pours in a hefty amount, letting any residual anxiety or nerves for the day travel out of him before he toes the water and sinks into its warmth. 

Baths are a luxury, in Alec’s mind. Showers are efficient, but a bath can be decadent and spoiled, filled with bubbles and oils and flower petals. That’s how he feels now, though the water is clear of bubbles, it feels good and the only thing that he can smell is the calming scents of Magnus’ magic that he can sense is fused into the mixture. Now that he’s thoroughly calmed and unbothered, though… 

… he’s not really sure what to do next. Lightly, he pats the top of the water a few times, watches the ripples as they spread across the surface, and does it again. Maybe he should have put on music, or brought a book.

Maybe he should have just taken a shower.

No, _no_. Magnus made sure to leave the day obligation-free for him, he’s going to enjoy it!

How would Magnus enjoy his bath? Well, he knows how he _and_ Magnus would enjoy his bath. As well-intended as the baths Magnus always draws for him after tense missions always are, they all end the same way. With a sigh, Alec closes his eyes and tries to push those thoughts away.

Only, closing his eyes with thoughts of Magnus in his head brings forth images of the countless other baths they’ve shared. Images of Magnus between his legs, lathering up a loofah and swiping it slow across his taut muscles, working the soap into his skin with the flat of his palm. Magnus, with his gorgeous bronze skin wet with water as he bends down to work his hands around Alec’s cock while it hardens in his grasp.

He peeks an eye open and glances around the room, despite knowing nobody else is there, before smoothing a hand across his chest.

He imagines it’s Magnus, lets himself get lost in the fantasy of reminiscing. Slowly, he brings his fingers across the hairs of his chest, scraping his blunt nails against them the same way Magnus does, although the feel of it is innately different. It’s only a second until he’s coming into contact with a nipple, already peaking and sensitive as he brushes his fingers along it, taking the nub between his fingertips and twisting. 

The moan he releases is low, quiet even in the emptiness of the room. It’s a precursor to what he knows is coming as he feels his hips shift up into the friction of nothing, an involuntary reaction to the pleasure that sparks from within. But he doesn’t stop. He continues to tweak and pinch as his other hand slides down his stomach, dips into the valleys of his abdomen, and with his eyes closed and visions of Magnus in his head, he remembers the appreciation that’s often lavished upon this part of his body.

Normally, he doesn’t pay it any mind. He doesn’t think about his body and what it looks like to others. He doesn’t train and exercise and stay fit for the benefit of anyone but himself and his duties. His self-worth isn’t developed from others, and he knows that’s not going to change.

But it’s his birthday, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t feel a swell of pride for the way his hand glides over the toned muscles of his body. He likes the instinctive press of his fingertips into each valley, the way they rise and fall with every breath he sucks in when he thinks of Magnus ghosting kisses and tracing his tongue along each and every rune diligently. The feel of his own fingers just as appreciative and worshiping in this moment, the way his muscles ripple with the pleasure that courses through him as he focuses on his other nipple, all of it makes his cock bob against his lower belly with the need for attention.

So he gives in with as slow a motion as he can manage, running his fingers along the sharp edge of his hips and following them downwards to the tip of his cock. His bottom lip finds its way between teeth that bite gently, and he teases himself with light touches along the underside that’s already swollen and throbbing under the warm water. He knows he has all day, and he doesn’t want to take this too fast. He wants to relish in the feel of himself surrounded in the smell and feel of the mixture that swirls around each of his senses, wants to rut against his hand and play with himself while encased in the warmth of Magnus’ magic. But it’s becoming too much, too soon, and everything feels enhanced in the water of this bath. 

There’s a fleeting wonder if Magnus laced this mixture with an aphrodisiac, but getting answers is the last thing he wants to do right now. 

With a shuddered breath, he trails his hand lower, grasping gently at his balls and giving them a gentle squeeze, rolling them between his palms the way Magnus always does so expertly. His hands are clumsier where Magnus’ are purposeful, but in the heat of the water and the building pleasure, it all feels good - _amazing_. 

More thoughts of Magnus flood in, memories of his own cock twitching against Alec’s thigh as he fondles Alec and bites lightly at his nipple, every receptor in his body attuned perfectly to his husband. Even just imagining it now pulls from him another moan as he pinches his nipple harder, squeezes it between the rough edges of his nail to imitate Magnus’ teeth. It works, a little too much because the moan comes out of him louder than expected, though he doesn’t try to stifle it because nobody else is here, nobody else is listening.

When he finally grips his fingers around his cock, it’s with a deep grunt and the thrust of his hips that sloshes water up and over the sides of the tub.

He could come now, could push himself over the edge already with a few quick pumps. 

But the Magnus in his mind from the night before shakes his head and grins up at him, and Alec finds himself indulging in the idea of holding off a little longer.

He loves balancing on the edge, loves the exhilaration of almost tipping over, only to be brought back and dragged down further. It’s different now than when Magnus does it, but effective in the tremor of desire that pulses through him.

Tentative is his thumb as he finally loosens his hold and swipes it over the tip of his cock, wet and shiny with the mixture of water and precome. Alec opens his eyes to see it, to stare down at the pad of his thumb swirling around the head, and his middle finger working small motions just under the ridge of it where the sensations seem to increase. 

If he tries to picture it, he can almost see and feel Magnus’ tongue in that same spot, flicking over the junction and wracking Alec’s body with shivers that make his toes curl. It feels almost too good, it brings him too close.

One by one, his fingers curl around his length again, taking a slow stroke up and down in an even breath. He has to calm himself now, a different calm than the one Magnus’ concoction brings, because he’s wound himself up so tightly and despite his efforts to make this last, he’s not sure how much longer he can hold on.

But Magnus in his head is encouraging. He whispers all the dirty sort of things Alec loves to hear, things that took him a long time to work up the courage to ask for, the sort of things that would make him blush if he wasn’t already steeped in a warm bath of pleasure. 

_Touch yourself for me, Alexander. I want you to watch the way your cock slides in and out of your fist, so fucking hot for me, my darling._

Alec does just that, keeps his gaze firmly on the shape of his cock as it slides in and out of view with each shift of his hips that thrusts up into his loose fist. Heat twists low in his belly, the budding orgasm making itself known in the back of his mind as he remains transfixed on his cock. It almost feels like an out-of-body experience, like he’s watching someone else, like the body in front of him is not his own.

It only makes him appreciate it more, every curve and angle of his cock, the way it twitches when he admires it’s length, the way he sighs when he tightens his fist around it’s girth. He loves the way it looks against Magnus’ lips, inside of Magnus and against his skin. He loves the way it looks now a darkened pink against the white of his hands and shaky under the water.

_More, Alexander._

“Magnus,” he hears himself whispering. It spurs him on, and the fingers that were playing with his nipples hastily leave their spot to descend lower, past his cock and down against the smooth ridges of his hole. 

_Just like that…_

His legs spread of their own accord, and he feels himself sinking just a bit further into the water as he rubs his finger along his rim, toying with the idea of going further. He’s so close still, he can feel the muscles in his thighs tightening, burning, and can feel the way the flame flickers low inside with the need for release.

The sounds of his ragged breathing fills the space of the room, echoing back to him like a ghost of a lover, and he finds his eyes roaming his body with a heightened admiration. It makes him wish Magnus were here, that Magnus could see him and join in, that Magnus could see how good he looks right now.

_Come, Alexander_.

With a loud groan, he slips his finger past the rim and deep inside of himself until he’s finally pushed over the edge. Magnus’ name falls from his lips, a cry for the man he loves, the man who brings him this far gone without even being here, and with the spasm of his muscles he feels the short spurts of come that finally release him from their hold. 

It takes everything left in him to not submerge himself into the still warm water. With limbs shaky from residual pleasure and exhaustion, he rinses himself off with a new stream of water and steps out of the bath to collapse on the bed, a wet, naked mess.

He knows Magnus would tut and magic him dry, he knows that Magnus doesn’t like Alec to sleep with wet hair, but Magnus isn’t here and it’s his birthday anyways so if there were any day to get away with it, it’s now.

With a final sigh, he let’s the slumber take him.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


When Alec wakes up for the second time that day, it’s to a 2pm sun that sits high in the sky and warms the bed where the sunlight filters in. Temptation to go back to sleep seeps in, but Alec pushes it back and sits up with a sleepy moan. The pillow is soaked, and the blankets are still damp, so he makes slow work of setting them out to dry, refusing to rush since he’s still allowed the day to relax.

A book sounds good, Alec thinks, as he searches the tomes that fill up the bookcases and settles on something that has caught his eye a few times before. The couch sinks when he sprawls across it, and it’s after a few minutes of reading that he notices Chairman Meow hasn’t settled on top of him like he normally does. 

It seems even the Chairman was no exception to Magnus’ birthday rules.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The hours pass quickly as Alec loses himself to tall tales of adventure, and it’s nearing 6pm when his stomach finally grumbles in anger.

A long stretch cracks the stiffness in his body from prolonged couch usage, and as he pulls out his phone to see what he can order for dinner, he opens up his messages.

True to his word, Magnus really did make sure nobody bothered him today.

And yet…

Alec sighs, running a finger through his messy hair. If he’s being honest with himself, he kind of misses the chaos that his birthday always brings him. Being alone was great, the perfect gift actually. But as much as he appreciated it - _and himself_ \- he kind of wants to spend the rest of the evening with those that he loves. Magnus, especially.

**What are you doing?**

His knee refuses to cease it’s bouncing from where he sits on the edge of the couch, but he doesn’t have to wait long for Magnus’ reply.

_I was having a debate with a cat I just met about the benefits of leaving his mundane owner and joining the ranks of an all-powerful warlock._

Alec snorts and grins affectionately down at his phone when he texts back. 

**We have enough cats, leave the poor thing alone and come home. Dinner?**

_Your R &R birthday isn’t over! You’ve still technically got 5 hours. _

**I’ve had enough, I’d rather spend the rest of it with you.**

Only with Magnus can he be so honest, and he feels his heart thud as he waits for the no-doubt sappy message in return.

_Actually…_ The response comes in, and Alec raises a brow. _I was sort of hoping you’d say that, because I had a backup dinner plan on reserve just in case. Make your way over to the East Village in thirty?_

**I’ll be there.**

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


When Alec takes that final step onto 1st Avenue and East 9th street, he’s met with a beaming Magnus who’s swaying on the balls of his feet, dressed as casually as he can be with dark liner and flecks of glitter that sparkle light from the setting sun. “Alexander,” he hums as Alec shuffles in to steal a kiss. “How was your birthday?”

“Better now,” Alec sighs against Magnus’ lips.

They’re pressed close in the middle of the sidewalk, and Alec doesn’t even care as he folds closer to Magnus’ heat. He’s normally not one for public displays that last more than a quick peck or hand-holding, but after all the effort Magnus must have gone through to ensure an absolutely uninterrupted birthday, he feels a bit sentimental.

“C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Alec groans a protest, but Magnus smiles a quick kiss to his lip and tugs him into the small restaurant. Before he can even ask if they can take the food to go, a hand from the booth at the end waves him over. It’s Izzy, excited with a wide grin, stuffed into the booth with the rest of his family. 

When he turns to Magnus, there’s a shy smile and hopeful eyes. “Who is Alexander Lightwood-Bane without an immense love for his family, even when they drive him crazy sometimes?”

“Magnus,” he begins, but is cut off with the shake of Magnus’ head. 

“They promised no gifts, just company. We were all hoping you’d be okay with this?”

Chest tight and eyes threatening to water, Alec leans down to press a light, meaningful kiss to Magnus’ forehead. “Yes, absolutely,” he responds, and Magnus claps his hands together and takes a step towards the table. “Wait!”

At that, Magnus turns with a perked brow. “Wait?”

“I _—_ thank you, Magnus,” Alec says after a pause. “I love you, and I appreciate everything you did today.”

Magnus’ smile warms and alights inside of him the desire to properly convey the love he feels right now. “You’re very welcome, Alexander. Anything for you,” he murmurs and sneaks another kiss before pulling him towards the booth. “I’m glad you enjoyed your bath,” he tosses back with a wink.

Of course Magnus would choose the moment right before they slide into the booth packed with his family to clear Alec’s suspicions from earlier. There’s a question thrown out, something from his mother that he didn’t catch that only exacerbates the pink on his cheeks and the audible gulp he swallows.

“Oh, Alexander was just telling me he had a wonderful time by himself,” Magnus answers for him, resting a hand on his thigh under the table in secret. 

Alec coughs. “Ah, yeah. It was… relaxing.” There’s silence as they wait for more, but Alec doesn’t know what more they’re expecting from him, so he finishes with a sincere, “Thank you guys. Truly.”

It seems it’s not only Magnus that brings forth the warmth in his chest, because as he takes in the smiles of all of his loved ones sitting here in the booth of his favorite burger place, he feels his heart swell.

He’s thankful to each and every one of them for respecting his solitude, through Magnus or not, and his gratitude is immense that they were able to show up last minute when he was finally ready to celebrate. Magnus’ hand on his leg is hot against his skin through the pants he wears, and the mischief in his eyes twinkling a promise for tonight, and all Alec thinks to himself is that he couldn’t have asked for a more perfect birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that as much as Alec did! 
> 
> Comments/kudos are appreciated!!
> 
> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://bidnezz.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/bidnesszzz)! I'd love to hear from you!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
